Whiter Shade of Pale

I want to write something

 Beautiful 

But there are crayons 

To be picked up

Dishes to be done

People

With atomic bombs

I’ve never understood 

Destruction 

The kid on the playground

Who likes to hurt

I have a hard time

Thinning my plants

Not so long ago

People were so afraid

They didn’t go to birthday parties

Not so long ago

We decided

Not to be

It cost us

But I can tell you

It matters to your soul

Those stands

That are hard to make

We gained

Immeasurably more 

Now everyone

Is supposed to be afraid

Of something else

Someone else

Everyone else

No one knows 

Who they’re supposed 

To hate 

Or love

Or be

As for me

I’m a woman

I’m a Mother

Not a bleeder

Not a birther

I’m a woman

That shouldn’t take 

From you

It shouldn’t take

From me

The world seems wild 

Reckless

Trying to drive 

After too many drinks

I find myself bereft 

For cds

Cigarettes 

Windows

That require effort

For any part 

Of the world

Before this

This menacing 

Smiling menace 

 Maybe I’m old

I think

I always have been

But at least 

Leroy and I 

Still look at each other

In photos 

Instead of the camera 

Loretta’s asleep 

Before sundown 

Which means

Tomorrow will likely come

 Before I’m ready 

The other two

Can at least

Make their own breakfast

And they said today

Was a good day

If I could split open my chest

To protect them

Hide them in my rib cage

I would

I would drain every drop

Break every bone

Every promise

It still 

 May never be enough

For now

We will bake brownies 

For breakfast

Run circles 

Through the yard

Say our prayers

Before bed

Before dinner 

Before it all

Write something beautiful 

Until we die