In Another Life

In Another Life

There’s a personal maxim

I have generally lived my life by

“Life is short. Wear your best shoes.”

I said it to someone once

When they commented on the fact

That I always seemed to have on

Nice shoes

No matter the occasion or weather

And while it’s also true

That I never have been able

To dress appropriately for the weather

I also

Before I had two kids to chase

Almost always wore heels

Snakeskin heels

Golden satin with lucite heels

Electric blue suede heels

Black strappy lace up heels

It’s a tall and colorful list

As a Mother

I have mostly confined myself

To smart patent oxfords

Or oxblood loafers with golden accents

Ballet flats and boots

That allow me to sprint after an errant child

Or keep pace with my 4 year old’s imagination and will

It struck me recently

As I looked around with small dissatisfaction

At some of the cosmetic details of our rental

That annoy me

Things I ignore

Because we don’t own it

Things I want to improve

That I let go of

Because

Why invest in something we will leave

Why get out the nice china

For sandwiches and chips

It sounds smart

It sounds

Sound

And I suppose in most respects

It makes sense

Pearls before swine

And so on

But after purchasing

A long coveted high heeled pair of sandals

For summer

Pale pink butter soft leather

That my children will almost certainly

Defile with “pen markers”

I was reminded of my maxim

And I realized

It’s really super lame

To be that sound

When life is but a breath

Then it’s gone

I scanned the top of a table

I have intended to refinish

For an age

Remembered something I was told many years ago

As I was moving into an in between place

Things

Stuffed into boxes and closets

No pictures on the walls

No paint or personality

A friend looked at me and said,

“Would you just hang a painting or two?”

When I protested that I didn’t own it

I wouldn’t be there very long

I was very wisely admonished

“You deserve to have a home at every stage of your life.”

That one sentence

So simple

So sound

Slapped it’s way across my face

And I immediately went about the business

Of making my short term dwelling

Into a place I loved

I still remember it’s icy aqua walls

With extreme fondness

Now

I’m further down the road

I have more people in my house

It’s full of tiny socks and tiny markers and building blocks

With teeth marks

One thousand or more records

Stage suits

Winter coats

Sheet sets and craft supplies

Makeup and books and bottles of wine

One million

Stuffed animal friends

And so many things

I have been waiting to “wear”

Stowing away in boxes

Until the right occasion

Bottling up my best

When I should be pouring it out

Wearing it thin

And hanging it up

So I decided

While I sipped my coffee and watched my girls

Chase circles

Through the kitchen

Life is short

One day I’ll have less laundry

All my breakables

Will be out of danger

I will have less snacks to make

Fewer messes to clean up

I won’t have anyone to run after

So today

Right now

Whether I own or rent

Have plenty or spare

Whether the walls are mine forever

Or for just a season

I will show up for life

Drinking $10 wine

Out of my Grandmother’s crystal