The 12 steps of "Me" time
Some days
You just get “Mommed out”
This is the term I use to describe that particular type of exhaustion
That only happens when you are totally responsible for another life
It doesn't have to be a terrible stressful day for this to happen
Today was totally wonderful
We had breakfast
Baby Daddy and Birdie napped, while Mommy caught up on some work
When everyone woke up
Baby Daddy made us BLT's
We all loaded up and went to the park
The weather was so freaking beautiful in Nashville today
That it was nearly criminal not to be outside
So outside we went
We walked and played and even did some mild frolicking
It was glorious
It was splendid
But still
After Baby Daddy went to his gig
And my 6 months pregnant self
Fed and bathed our child and got her ready for bed
I was totally and utterly “Mommed out”
My hips hurt
My face felt droopy and grey
The kitchen still needed cleaning
So
As I often do
I made a deal with myself
No sitting down
No checking my Instagram
Just thirty more minutes of dedicated “Momming”
Just cleaning and prepping for tomorrow's breakfast
Just putting up toys that got left out
Just restocking the diaper bag
Just putting away all the this and that
That tends to accumulate and threaten to overtake our tiny place
Once the thirty minutes is up
Then it’s just me time
Then the nighttime ritual begins
I can get a shower and wash my face and steam off the day
I can sip my tiny glass of “Mommy Juice”
Crawl into bed with my laptop to write while I watch Golden Girls
Tonight however
I decided to go the extra “Me” mile and add my scrubby mask concoction into my night time ritual
For your comedic pleasure
It has been recorded below:
Step One: Be totally exhausted from taking care of a tiny badger type human and from walking more in one day than you usually do in an entire week...because you really loathe exercise in any form.
Step Two: Remove all your makeup…if any of it has managed to survive...leaving behind only your happy Mom face.
Step Three: Combine a Handy Dandy Charcoal mask with a yummy scrub. I prefer to use Beauty Counter Charcoal Mask and Beauty Counter Nourishing Cream Exfoliator…Because they are freaking rad and free from any and all toxins or harmful shit.
Step Four: Apply said concoction to your face in a circular scrubbing motion for at least 60 seconds. Avoid your eyes and mouth, unless you're a dummy.
Step Five: Chill with your Mommy Juice and scroll through Instagram looking at all the other Mom's doing it better than you...while the Charcoal mask dries to a fun crunchy layer. About 10 Minutes.
Step Six: Go lay your weeping toddler back down in bed. Promise her rainbows and trips to the park and tater tots.
Step Seven: Get into a steamy hot shower and remove scrubby mask concoction with a washcloth…preferably not a white one…while reveling in your precious alone time. Dry off and slip into some leopard jams. If you don't have leopard jams...stop reading this and go think about your life.
Step Eight: Apply Radiance Serum and Rejuvenating Night Cream and for God's sake don't forget the Eye Cream...so you can look beautiful and young FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
Step Nine: Check on now sleeping toddler monster and listen to their beautiful breathing.
Step Ten: Blow dry the front of your hair to fluffy shiny perfection…get bored of looking at yourself and tired of holding the blow dryer... leave the back to fend for itself.
Step Eleven: Switch to water in your mega awesome custom Yeti Rambler Tumbler and enjoy your now glowy fabulous complexion...at least until morning.
Step Twelve: Say a fond farewell to your belly button…as it will likely be gone at any minute…then snuggle down into bed with every pillow you have ever owned and pass out to your Netflix or Hulu program of choice.
Congratulate yourself on winning.
What's your favorite remedy/ritual for being "Mommed out"?
